Home For Christmas
by Mouko
Summary: Zim gets his first taste of Christmas... but with a twist. What happens when Zim gets wounded and lost in the heart of enemy territory? Will the Christmas break destroy him in it's path of rainy, drippy, destruction? And where did GIR get that outfit?
1. Christmas'll Break You!

Warning: Hehehe... MERRY ALMOST-CHRISTMAS! This is going to be a three-parter fic series... and I'll release one today... one a week later... and one on Christmas eve. A present for you all from me and from my bestest net sister, Yuki Ryu! This actually started out as a just-for-fun RP between us but we decided it'd be cool to fic-ize it... so I did! *giggles* SO ENJOY! And YES. There WILL be couplings soon enough. ;P  
  
  
Part One: Christmas'll Break You!  
  
  
Tick, tock, tick, tock.  
Zim stared, dully, as the clock hands slowly made their way around its face while marking each hour that drudged by. The rest of the students sat, almost entirely zoned, as many drooled or stared blankly at the blackboard. Pictures of trees, snowflakes, and Santa Claus covered almost every inch of the wall as red ribbons and wreaths hung on the teacher's desk.  
The small Irken waited, every part of his body numb, as Ms. Bitters rambled for hours about the evils of Christmas doom.  
"Doomed... doomed... evil little stockings... doomed... doomed... poisonous candy canes... doomed... doomed...,"  
Zim sighed and glanced at Dib, then blinked. Dib looked similarly distracted as he watched the clock anxiously. The humans eyes drifted back and forth between the clock and the small alien, as if attempting to give both equal attention.  
"Doomed... doomed... doomed... commercialization... doomed... doomed...," Ms. Bitters continued to drone.  
Dib sighed and mentally willed time to speed up. Only two more hours and the skool would be out for Christmas. Zim, himself, returned to staring at the clock. His claws tapped, idly, against his desk until he suddenly let out a gutteral noise and shivered with pent up frustration and energy..  
"ENOUGH OF THIS! I, Zim, cannot stand this any longer! This... this NONSENSE... the STINKBEASTS must be planning something hideous... for this BREAK... and I shall not be caught unaware!" he growled, claws curling up in to fists. He sneered, viciously, and then waved his claws vigorously in the air to catch Ms. Bitter's attention.  
Ms. Bitters blinked, slightly, and slowly gazed at Zim while her lips curled up in a growl.  
"Yes, Zim?" she drawled. Zim straightened his back and grinned.  
"I MUST USE... the RESTROOM," he announced.  
"...," Ms. Bitters stared at Zim, levelly. Zim continued to grin.  
"IT IS AN ALL MIGHTY NEED!" he added. He was vaguely aware of Dib watching him, suspiciously, but simply shrugged it off. Ms. Bitters regarded Zim for a moment longer before grabbing a hallpass and throwing it at Zim. Zim yowled as it bounced off his forehead, then caught it and cackled happily. He turned and charged out of the door while Ms. Bitters returned to her droning.  
Dib stared at the door and debated whether or not to chase after Zim. His father would be coming home for Christmas and promised to spend family time with them, which was something Dib had always dreamed of. If he chased after Zim, it would only delay their time together.  
Dib's internal debate lasted for a second.  
Dib stood up and waved his hands around, attempting to divert Ms. Bitters attention to himself.  
"Miss Bitters! I need to go to the bathroom!" he said. Ms. Bitters stopped, her eyes widening, and turned to fix Dib with a poisonous gaze. Dib paused, then tilted his head. "An ALL MIGHTY NEED?" he added, hopefully.  
Ms. Bitters scowled deeply, then grabbed a hallpass and threw it at Dib, chuckling with satisfaction as it bounced off his head.  
"GO," she snarled, before returning to her previous position. Dib grabbed his hallpass and dashed into the hall.  
Zim cackled, merrily, as he ran down the hall towards the exit.  
"Foolish humans! I shall not fall victim to this... BREAK!" he giggled, feeling rather superior at the moment. He was oblivious to Dib, who appeared farther down the hall and bolted towards him. Zim was so oblivious, in fact, that he tripped over a fake snowflake and went tumbling to the ground. "KYAHAHA-EEEYAAAH!" he shrieked.  
Dib caught up just as Zim tumbled down the hall, landing face first on the cold ground. Zim groaned in pain and fumbled up, rubbing his face.  
"Stupid human... THINGS...," he growled. Dib laughed, loudly, before putting his hands on his hips and grinning at Zim.  
"What's wrong, ZIM? Having trouble with a simple little Christmas decoration?" he sneered. Zim blinked, then whirled about to glare at Dib despite the large pulsating bruise on his forehead.  
"DIB," he hissed. He scowled deeply as Dib laughed, striding purposely towards him with an air of superiority about him.  
Atleast, he did until he tripped on a large faux candy cane and slipped, tumbling forward to land on his face.  
Zim blinked, slowly, then began to snicker.  
"What's wrong, DIB? Foiled by your OWN... DE-KOR-ATIONS?!" he jibed, then burst out with laughter. He continued to laugh as he turned about and strode towards the door, ignoring Dib as the human began to scramble to his feet. Dib rubbed his nose, his glasses miraculously intact despite the fall. He glanced at Zim, then let out a deep growl and lunged at Zim from behind.  
Zim blinked, then glanced around just in time to see Dib lunge at him. He yelped and jumped out of the way, cackling as Dib flew past and hit the floor once more.  
"FOOLISH STINKBEAST!" he cackled. Dib fumbled up, adjusting his glasses on his face, before turning to growl at Zim.  
"You won't get away from me this time, ZIM! I'm going to catch you and wrap you up like a present and give you to Mysterious Mysteries as a Christmas Present!" he hissed.  
"HAH! NEVERRRR!" Zim sneered. He jumped out of the way when Dib lunged a second time, then ran down the hall with a delighted cackle. He glanced back to see Dib chasing after him, looking rather determined.  
"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME FOREVER, ZIM!" Dib cried.  
"YES I CAAAAN!" Zim replied before throwing his exploding hallpass at the fake Christmas tree as he passed. The hallpass landed on top of the tree, like a halo, and rested there as Zim charged outside. Dib blinked, then glanced at his own exploding hallpass. A devious grin crossed his face and, with a shout, threw his hallpass at Zim.  
Unfortunately for the Irken, he had just stepped outside when the hallpass came at him. Zim glanced back and yowled. He scrambled to get out of the way, well aware of Ms. Bitter's warning about leaving skool grounds with a hallpass.  
Almost instantly, the hallpass exploded next to Zim. Zim cried out as he was sent flying in to the bushes, charred and surrounded by metal shrapnel. Dib let out a cry of triumph as Zim landed, roughly, in the thorny bushes.  
"HAH! GOTCHA NOW, iZIM/I!" he crowed, charging down the steps towards the bushes. Zim moaned in pain and scrambled out of the bushes, covered in thorn scrapes and burns. He charged toward the tree, fixing his wig as best he could. Dib followed, close behind, as a triumphant grin crossed his face.   
Zim zipped around the tree, then took off towards the street. He could hear Dib running behind him, chuckling sinisterly.  
"You won't get away from me, ZIM!" Dib sneered, panting slightly as he ran after the small Irken.  
"YES I WILLLLLL!" Zim jibed. "HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA-ow-HAHAHA!" he laughed, faltering slightly in his attempts to escape as blood slowly seeped in to his pant leg. Part of the collar must have lodged itself in his leg when it exploded, he realized. Zim glanced down and scared, before swallowing the pain and continued running.  
Unfortunately, Dib noticed the falter instantly.  
"What's wrong, ZIM? Did that explosion hurt you?" he mocked. Zim resisted his urge to flinch and growled, deeply.  
"HARDLY!" he barked. He charged down the street, arriving at the busy intersection, and charged across. He barely dodged the cars which zoomed by, honking in irritation as Zim passed.  
Dib continued the chase, entering the intersection as well. He jumped, twice, when two cars had to hit their breaks to avoid hitting him but continued the chase, undaunted. Zim glanced back once he made it to the other side of the street and cackled. He turned to continue his escape but accidentally stepped wrong and twisted his bad leg, aggrivating the wound further. He yowled and hopped a few steps on his good foot before breaking out in to a run.  
Dib gasped for breath as he made it across the street, then glanced up to smirk at Zim. He took off running after the alien.  
"HAH! What's the matter, ZIM? Leg bothering you?" he called, sweetly.  
"... Of course not!" Zim retorted, though he growled deep in his throat.  
Dib laughed to himself, which infuriated the Irken even more. Zim bit his lower lip, willing away the pain from his leg, and quickly climbed over a fence. Neither he nor Dib noticed the tiny drops of blood the Irken left behind as both continued to dart across the yards. The two zigged and zagged across the grass, their wild chase taking them all over town. After a few moments, Zim became aware of the fact that he was starting to gasp for air, very winded, and that Dib was very slowly gaining on him.  
Such knowledge sent a pang of terror through him. With a yelp, he darted in to the street and glanced about, wildly. At that moment, a taxi appeared around the corner and charged down the street. Zim's eyes lit up and he waited, crouched. The taxi zipped past him, intent on its destination. The driver was totally unaware of Zim, who managed to leap at the last second and grabbed the bumper of the taxi.  
Zim yelped as he was dragged down the street, then slowly pulled himself up on to the roof of the taxi. He winced as the wind blasted him, bugs splattering against his face. He glanced back to see Dib stop on the side of the road and glare after him.  
"HAH! SEE YA, DIB!" Zim cried, clinging to the roof of the taxi with all his might. Dib stood on the side of the road, quivering with anger. He pointed after the retreating Zim, almost frothing with anger.  
"I'LL GET YOU, ZIM! MAYBE NOT TODAY! MAYBE NOT TOMORROW... MAYBE NOT THE DAY AFTER... BUT SOON! SOON I'LL HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!" he shrieked. Zim cackled in response, then regreted such and action and spat out a rather disoriented bug.  
After a few moments of cussing and declaring war on 'death bugs', Zim became vaguely aware of the fact that he had no idea where he was. He blinked and looked around as the taxi zoomed past unfamiliar buildings.  
A cold, terrifying thought crossed Zim's mind.  
"... I'm... lost? Deep in enemy territory?!" he choked. Quickly, he rolled over to the side of the cab and jumped off. However, he landed wrong and went tumbling across the asphalt. He sat there, whimpering for a few minutes, before he slowly stood up and limped out of the road.  
"Noooooo... I will be... FINE...," he announced. He limped in to the nearby alley and looked around. Seeing that the humans were ignoring him, Zim then glanced back as the communicator zipped out of his back. "GIR! Answer!" he hissed.  
There was no response.  
"... Hrm... interference... again!" he muttered. Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR was down the road a bit, drinking eggnog while sitting in a scantly clad elf girl's lap.  
Zim glanced around, warily, and limped out of the alley. He was instantly assaulted by cheery Christmas music from random stores. Thousands of people covered the sidewalks, carrying packages and bags of goodies as they traveled from shop to shop.  
Zim stared in amazement, before yelping when a large lady with tons of boxes bumped in to him, knocking him over. The lady peered through the boxes to glare at him.  
"What where you're going, you elf!" she snarled, then continued to waddle along her way. Zim blinked repeatedly, then scrambled against the wall and hissed with fear.  
"The... madness...,"  
A bell rang next to Zim. Zim looked up and stared. A sad looking Santa, complete with pillow sticking out from his coat, stood next to a black pot of loose change. Zim's jaw quivered. He let out a squeal and jumped to his feet. He ignored the pain from his leg and bolted down the street, panicked.  
Zim glanced back just as he rounded a corner, then squeaked as he boinged off of something bouncy. He fell on his end and glanced up, wide eyed.  
A scantly clad elf girl stood in front of him, hands on her hips as her tight red outfit covered very little of her seductive body.  
"What's your problem, cutie?" she purred, blonde hair draped over her bare shoulders. Zim stared in shock, then let out a terrified scream and scrambled away.  
Zim's breathing grew hysterical as he bolted down the street, dodging humans as best he could. He stopped by a telephone and quivered, eyes darting around wildly.  
"The... madness!" he whimpered. He tensed, then slowly glanced down at his feet. A freaky chihuahua sat at his feet, complete with surgical scar. The small dog blinked, stupidly, and stared up at Zim with a sprig of Christmas holly attached to its collar.  
Zim's cheek quivered before he burst out with another scream and darted down the street. It was then that the worst surprise made its appearance in the skies.  
Tiny flakes of snow slowly drifted downwards, slow and steady at first but increasing steadily in number. Some humans stopped and stared at the snow falling while others still stuck their tongues out to catch a flake on their tongue.  
Zim stopped to stare at the sky as well, utterly bewildered by the new sight.  
"... What is this...? It is not RAIN... so... what?" he blinked. He reached up to catch a snowflake in a gloved claw. He stared at it, fascinated, until it began to melt. Zim's eyes widened drastically when his hand began to smoke. He squealed and flailed his arm, trying to stop the burning. "EEEYAAAH!" he yowled. He clutched his claw to his chest and glared at the sky. "HIDEOUS MENACE FROM THE SKY!" he roared. He squeaked when a snowflake almost touched him and, with a triumphant cry, lept under a Christmas tree and huddled by the trunk.  
A few people stopped to eye Zim strangely but the majority ignored him and continued their Christmas shopping.  
Zim peered out from under the tree, watching with horror as the snow fell to the ground about him and stuck to it. As moments passed, more snow joined the first and the ground slowly disappeared under a layer of white.  
"Dis... Disgusting... what HORROR... the ground will be covered in this white FILTH!" he snarled. He pressed his back against the trunk and glared, murderously, at the snow. "What... MADNESS...,"  
Zim glanced about and recoiled. The snow quickly surrounded the ground all about the Christmas tree, making escape nearly impossible.  
"... TRAPPED...," Zim growled. "Trapped... by this hideous white... filthy... dirt... STUFF!"  
It was then that Zim realized that he still wasn't safe. The snow landed upon the branches of the Christmas tree only to be melted by the hot lights. Zim looked up and shrieked as the melted snow dripped down upon him.  
"Must... find... safety!" he growled. With a warcry, Zim charged out from under the tree in to the open. He darted around, trying to dodge the deadly flakes of snow, before darting under a doorsill. His Irken heart pounded, violently, as his entire body quivered. The snow took his attention away from his leg, which continued to bleed and coat his pants with its sticky substance.  
The streets slowly became deserted as the snow covered it in a thick icy lair. Zim glanced about, suspiciously, from the doorsill as the humans hurried along the streets in various directions and disappeared from sight.  
"My... it's so late...," one woman panted.  
"Better hurry home," a policeman said, twirling a donut on his finger. "The weatherman's calling for a blizzard. We ought to have a white Christmas this year!"  
Zim blinked in confusion.  
"What is this... blizzard?" he wondered. He glanced at the sky and sighed, miserably. "I only hope that this Christmas Break hasn't claimed poor GIR in it's path of rainy... drippy... destruction!"  
Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR was back at the base, decorating the house with Scary Monkey Christmas decorations.  
Many humans rushed home, grabbing cabs or taking the bus, leaving less and less people around as minutes passed. Shops closed and Zim found himself alone, entirely in the dark save for the Christmas lights in the windows and an occasional streetlight.  
Zim stared, then shivered.  
" ... this... must be... phase one of... The Break...," he whispered. The wind suddenly started to pick up as the snowflakes increased in size. Zim shivered, then shrieked when the wind blasted him with snow. He darted out from the doorsill and ran down the street, searching for cover. He grabbed a cardboard box and held it over his head, using it as a shield, as his breath came out as a thick mist. He panted, glaring about in to the night, then ran down the street in his desperate race to find cover. 


	2. Icy You!

Warning: Well. Looks like this is going to end up a FOUR parter instead of a three parter... and I'll be releasing more early. When me and Yuki RP... we bloody RP. FEAR OUR MAD SKILLS. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, yes. Couplings begin to emerge but I ain't stopping there. Don't worry. ^^ ... Well. Not too much. *glances at the title* ... o.o;;; 

As an added bonus, I'm going to try and fix the formatting of my future chapters! You see, all of my fics have indents. ... but when I upload, they mysteriously disappear. ... SO! I'm going to try and fix it! HUZZAH! ... yes! Anyway! XD Does this look any better? 

Part Two: Icy You! 

(I know it's a bad joke. BAD ME, BAD! ... I wonder if anyone actually got it. o.o I had soda so I'm sorta... soda stoned. This could be one of those jokes that even I won't get when I get un-soda stoned.) 

The sounds of chatter filled the studio as Professor Membrane wandered around, dodging scientific equipment and staff members as he packed his briefcase with everything and anything he could find. Little children screamed after him, whom he ignored with his usual airhead mannerism, until a scrawny staff member wearing a matching thick white lab coat approached him. 

"Sir!" 

"Ah, Simmons! Is everything ready for my departure?" Professor Membrane inquired as he tried to shove a nuclear reactor in his briefcase. 

"About that, sir," Simmons began. "The President called...," 

"No no no! He'll have to wait!" Professor Membrane laughed, merrily. He proceeded to pose dynamically, the equipment sparking behind him in an eerie display of science. "It's Christmas break! I must make... HOLIDAY CHEER," 

Simmons stared, bewildered, then glanced at his clipboard. 

"But what about...?" 

"Baaah!" Professor Membrane dismissed the notion with a wave of his gloved hand. "I can find a cure for whatever it is after Christmas break! I've allready met my 'cured diseases' quota. Besides!" the professor grinned, before striking yet another pose. "I must... GO HOME TO MY CHILDREN FOR CHRISTMAS!" 

"Uhhh... yessir...," Simmons blinked, then tensed and tilted his head. His hand darted to his earpiece as a scowl crossed his face. "SIR!" 

"Hoh?" Professor Membrane blinked. 

"The snow... it's blocked up the roads... we're trapped in!" Simmons' eyes widened in horror. Professor Membrane blinked, then laughed lightly and put his hands on his hips. 

"Don't be silly. I will simply use my handy snowblower-," he began. 

"... um... you lent it to the orphans in Alaska," Simmons interrupted, quietly. Professor Membrane blinked. 

"... my nuclear snowmobile?" he inquired. 

"... Arctic exploration team," Simmons coughed. 

"... ... super charged flamethrower?" 

"... I spilled coffee on it, remember? It exploded in a blaze," 

Professor Membrane stared at Simmons, blankly, before he burst out with laughter. 

"I do believe we're stranded!" he cackled. Simmons gave the professor a freaked look, who seemed oblivious to it as he grabbed the phone and began to dial with an unnecessary flourish. Professor Membrane hummed, merrily, as the phone rang. 

Gaz rested, stretched out on the floor, as she drew. Crayons surrounded her, covering the floor, as well as many pictures and blank pieces of papers. She arched an eyebrow, slightly, when the phone began to rang. She continued to draw as the answering machine picked up. 

"AH! Gaz! Dib! If you can hear this... I am afraid that our Christmas rendezvous must be postponed! I am, unfortunately, detained by the sn-," 

Gaz dashed up to get the phone but was too late. The connection cut just as she picked up the phone. 

"Hello? Dad?" she asked. Her only reply was the sound of silence, save for static. Gaz scowled, then reset the phone and tried to dial the lab. Her scowl deepened when her attempts failed. She hung up the phone, then plastic cracking on the frame, and glared murderously at it. 

"... Damn dad's work," she hissed, quietly and harshly. She walked over to her drawnings and grabbed a black crayon. She stared at the crayon, then her drawing, and harshly scribbled over it. 

--------------- 

Dib sighed, wearily, as he walked up the shoveled sidewalk to his house. He stomped his feet on the mat outside the door, shaking off the snow that clung to his body, and slipped inside. 

"I'm home!" he called. 

Silence. 

Dib blinked and walked to towards the kitchen. He peered inside, curiously. 

"Dad?" he called. "Gaz?" 

Silence. 

Dib walked towards the basement and peered down, only to find it empty as well. 

"... Hellooo? Anybody home?" he called, once more. When no one replied, he turned and walked back to the living room. He wandered past the sofa, then yowled as he tripped. 

Gaz refused to acknowledge Dib, even though he tripped on her, as she scribbled on the paper with her black crayon. Dib rubbed his sore nose and muttered before standing to his feet and looking at his sister, oddly. 

"Gaz? Why didn't you say something?" he asked. Gaz paused, then slowly sat up and put the crayon away. 

"... Dad isn't coming home," 

"Whuh?" Dib stared. 

"He called before the phone went out. He's probably got another project he's working on. Work always comes before family you know," she continued, her voice very harsh, bitter, and sarcastic. 

"...But... BUT... He promised! He PROMISED! He promised nothing would keep him from being home on Christmas!" Dib cried out. 

"Check the answering machine if you don't believe me," Gaz retorted, curtly, as she got to her feet. Dib stood still for a moment, totally stunned, before going over to the answering machine. He pressed the playback button and listened to the recording. In a fit of denial, he played back the message over and over as if he felt it would change if he rewound it enough. He was so stunned that he did not notice Gaz as she walked over to the door, put on her coat, and slipped out in to the cold. 

Gaz ignored the snow as she tromped out into the blizzard, feeling fit to kill. However, as it was Christmas Eve, her anger eventually gave way to a profound sadness and depression. 

Resting on the floor, abandoned and forgotten, was a picture of Dib, Gaz, and their father in a Christmas setting, harshly scribbled out with black crayon. 

----------- 

Zim hissed as he barely dodged a snowflake, his hands quivering as the cardboard box slowly began to drip from the continued assault of snow. The cardboard was soggy and chilly, freezing Zim's claws, while Zim's cheeks were a rather unnatural tint of blue. The streets were buried deep under mounds of snow as the night cast an uncomfortable shadow over everything, the wind howling viciously. 

"This... this weather... I must return home!" Zim muttered. He yelped and dodged a blast of snow. He huffed, wearily, and glanced around. "Must... ... so cold...," Zim whimpered. He arched his back and let out an irritated snarl. "I'm an invader...! I won't be defeated by... COLD RAIN!" he announced, though he seemed to lose his conviction when another blast of snow hit him. Zim quickened his pace and tromped through the snow, which thankfully only came up to his knees. His thick boots protected his skin from the acidic snow, though his wounded leg felt incredibly numb. His teeth chattered vigorously as small shivers began to wrack his body. 

Zim looked around. 

"Where... where am I? I don't recognize... so cold...," Zim whispered, his breath appearing like puffs of chilled smoke. He took a hesitant step, then yowled as he slipped and tumbled in to a snowbank. He screamed and scrambled out, then dived in to a frosty phonebooth. He shivered in the corner, huddled and chattering. "So... very... cold...," he repeated. 

Zim glanced around and scowled as the snow continued to fall. He clenched a shivering fist and waved it at the outside world. 

"I won't be defeated... not here... the Tallest put their faith... ... !" he hissed, then broke off shivering. After the shiver settled down, he sighed wearily. " ... I'll just wait until... it stops...," 

Zim rested his head against his knees and continued to shiver, wincing visibly as the blood stain on his leg slowly grew larger and frigid. 

Zim sighed once more, then tensed and blinked. 

Through the wind and the glass of the booth, there was the sound of singing, soft and sad. Zim tilted his head and listened, a curious expression on his chilled face. The voice was quite familiar, somehow. 

Zim fumbled up and wiped at the glass booth window, hissing at the cold against his burnt hands, then peered out in to the dismal night. He saw nothing but snow and white; there was no sight of another living creature. However, someone must be out there somewhere. 

Zim blinked, then slowly inched out in to the snow, shivering against the cold, and trudged towards the sound. 

"... who...?" he wondered. As Zim walked closer, he soon found himself able to make out words. 

"... I have no friends...," 

Zim faltered and blinked. 

"To wish me greetings... once again...," 

"... ...?" Zim inched closer, curiousity temporarily overcoming the freezing cold.. 

"Choirs will be singing, Silent Night...," 

Zim came to a stop and stared as he saw purple and black against the snow, taking the form of someone standing in the middle of the park in the seemingly far distance. 

"Oh, Christmas Carols, by candlelight...," 

Zim blinked, then took a few steps toward the person. Snow slipped by him, barely missing his exposed head as he forgot to grab the cardboard box in the phonebooth. 

"I... recognize...," he hissed. 

"Please... come home for Christmas...," 

"... it's... Gaz?" Zim stared. He rubbed his eyes and stared. 

The song slowly grew shaky, stained with an edge of despair. The blurry figure, Gaz, let out a stifled sob as her hands went to her face. 

"... It can't be... can it?" Zim whispered, inching even closer to see as his sight seems to diminish to a hazy blur. 

"... Please... please come home for Christmas...," Gaz whispered, her voice soft and sounding more like a plea than a song. Zim came to an abrupt stop and stared at Gaz, who was unaware of his presence. 

"... It is," he grunted. He stood perfectly still, staring at Gaz. Gaz stopped singing all together and proceeded to sob, quietly, in to her mittened hands. Zim stood a moment longer, staring, then turned about and started heading away. He glanced over his shoulder, weakly, and rubbed his arms to try and warm them. 

"... Silly... leaking human," he whispered, though his voice lacked both enthusiasm and conviction. He continued to walk, his breathing labored, as he fought his urge to curl up right where he was. "Must... get home... poor GIR...," he sighed. 

Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR was at the base baking Christmas brownies, wearing what looked suspiciously like a kinky bouncy elf girl outfit and lipstick. 

Zim walked, aimlessly, then stopped and let out a choked gasp. He glanced at his leg and winced, noting that the snow about him was stained with blood. Zim sighed and straightened himself up, then glanced up ahead. He jumped, then stared in disbelief as a form appeared in sight, black against the icy snow. 

"... what now...?" Zim muttered, then coughed miserably and shook. 

Dib trudged through the snow, miserable and with red tinted cheeks, as he looked around for Gaz. He glanced about, then jerked when he spotted a figure against the snow that he could not identify. Dib darted towards the figure, hopeful. 

"Gaz?!" he cried. 

"... The... DIB... human?" a voice whispered, weakly. Dib skidded to a halt as the figure materialized in to a very cold and dazed Irken. 

"ZIM!" Dib gasped, his tone more surprised and weary than accusing or aggressive. Zim stared at Dib, a violent shiver running up his body. 

"... You...," he choked, his throat slowly numbing along with the rest of his body. Dib eyed Zim, then crossed his arms and sighed heavily. 

"I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever it is you're up to, Zim," he grunted, sounding tired and depressed yet trying to hide it. Zim stared, blankly, at Dib before letting out a pained whimper as some snow settled on him. Zim shook off the snow but ultimately collapsed to his knees. 

"... ... So... very... cold...," he panted. Dib stared at Zim, his expression a collage of conflicting emotions. Zim shivered uncontrollably and glanced up at Dib, his expression weary and almost resigned. "... I think... I'll... take a brief... ... INVADER... nap...," Zim muttered. 

Dib stared, dully, at Zim. Zim was wounded and hurt, surrounded by snow that no doubt burned just as badly as its warmer counterpart. All Dib had to do was leave Zim in the snow; the alien would die a painful death and humanity would be safe. 

Yet, something kept Dib from leaving the alien right where he was. A tiny voice whispered that Zim was his responsibility. Zim was his discovery and, more importantly, his sole focus in life. 

Zim was the one constant in his life. Zim was the one stable component of his life that he couldn't seem to find anywhere else; not in his moody sister and especially not in his promise-breaking father. 

And besides, Zim looked downright adorable. Especially when he was so defenseless and exposed without his shields of ego. 

Dib tensed at the thought then shook his head. He stared down at Zim, who looked so helpless, and let out a weary sigh. 

"I know I'll hate myself in the morning for this...," Dib grunted, though he had a feeling he didn't mean it as much as he wished he did. He grabbed Zim's claw and yanked the Irken to his feet. He shivered at how deathly cold the Irken's skin was to the touch. Zim looked at Dib, weakly, then cracked a small, forced grin. 

"... Teh... silly human...," he whispered. He let out a tiny giggle before his eyes rolled in to the back of his head and he collapsed, unconscious, in to the snow. Dib yelped and yanked Zim up, pulling him close and wrapping his coat partially around the Irken. He shook his head, muttering. 

"I guess even ALIENS bent on world conquest deserve mercy on Christmas...," he grunted, half carrying and half dragging Zim back towards his house. He glanced down at Zim, noting how troubled the Irken's breathing seemed to be and how cold he felt. Dib bit his lower lip and held Zim as closely as possible, trying to warm up the Irken as well as ignore a tiny voice whispering against such a rescue. When Zim didn't appear to be getting any better, Dib growled and took off his coat, totally wrapping Zim up with it. He picked up Zim and carried him, almost running towards his house as he ignored the onset of cold he exposed himself to. 

Zim stirred, slowly, and opened an eye to look up at Dib. He opened his mouth to speak but Dib shook his head. 

"Save it, Zim," Dib growled. "You're frostbitten and need to save your strength," 

"... why...?" Zim whispered, his voice so low Dib almost missed it. Dib wondered such a question himself but quickly brushed it aside. 

"That's what humans do on Christmas," he replied. Zim stared blankly at Dib, uncomprehending, before passing out once more. 


	3. Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree... ...

WARNING: Um, yesss! This is where it gets a nice little spice. ;P *giggles* Anyway... we're aaaalmost there! WHOO HOO! Merry ALMOST CHRISTMAS! Read and ENJOY! And, as always, flames will be mocked and then ignored. So... um... HAHAHAHA! 

... ANYWAY! 

Part Three: Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree... WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO DISSECT ME!? 

Gaz watched the snow fall about her, silent and steady, while she stood in the covered gazebo in the farthest corner of the city park. She was alone, save for her thoughts, as the snow continued to cover everything it touched. 

The darkness created an eerie atmosphere of loneliness and despair, which wasn't much help to Gaz's mood. 

Gaz grunted. She didn't dare return home at the moment, as her mood was so foul that she might doom Dib. She had a rather bad habit of dooming Dib, as he was always the closest person to her when her bad moods flared. 

She had distinctively heard Dib's voice numerous time, but purposely hid from her brother. She was thankful that he cared enough to come find her, but hoped he would understand that she cared enough not to let him find her. She was simply too unstable at the moment to handle company. 

So, instead, she warmed herself under the gazebo with memories. 

Gaz stared at the ground as the snow fell, regarding the blanket of snow as images appeared in her mind. 

i"Gaz!" Dib giggled, only six years old, pointing at a snow angel he had made in the snow. He reached over and drew two lines on the top of its head with a mittened hand. "Look! A snow alien!"/i 

i"Shouldn't it be a snow angel?" Gaz grunted, looking far younger than Dib but carrying an air of maturity./i 

i"No, this one's an alien," Dib replied. He proceeded to jump on the 'alien', snickering. "And now I'm saving the world!"/i 

i"You're weird,"/i 

Gaz closed her eyes, slowly. 

i"You sure this is safe, daddy?" Dib blinked, grabbing the reins to a large sleigh. Professor Membrane chuckled as he put Gaz down on the sleigh behind Dib./i 

i"Of course! It's only a rocket powered sleigh," he replied. "It only exploded twice! Perfectly safe!"/i 

Gaz chuckled slightly, then opened her eyes and leaned back. She glanced at her hands, which rested against the snowy handrail of the gazebo. She could feel her fingers slowly going numb as the snow clung to her skin. 

"... Isn't Christmas a time for miracles?" she grunted. She looked up at the snow, then raised her hands. She reached out, then watched as the drifting snowflakes landed on her hands and clung to her. She pulled her hands back in and watched as the captured snowflakes slowly melted in her slightly frozen hands. 

"... If so... where's mine?" 

-------------- 

Zim shivered, slightly, as a slow warmth spread through his body. Unthinking, he leaned towards the heat and sighed. It was then that Zim was vaguely aware of a few facts: he was surrounded by something warm and fuzzy, he wasn't numb anymore, he wasn't burning, his breathing was back to normal, he was alive, and his leg hurt very much. 

Zim paused, then slowly opened a weary eye. He was totally engulfed by a multitude of blankets, resting near a heating vent. Zim blinked, then glanced about to find himself in Dib's house, though Dib was out of sight at the moment. Zim slightly sat up, then let out a pained hiss and glanced at his leg. Blood oozed through the fabric, slightly crystalized but melting due to the heater. 

"ZIM," 

Zim jumped, startled, and turned to see Dib walk in through the front door. He was covered from head to foot in thick snow, shivering uncontrollably. Dib closed the door with a sigh and hung his coat up on the wall. He sneezed and wiped his nose, then kicked off his soaked boots and socks. He rubbed his cheeks, trying to regain some color, as he muttered. 

"... You were looking for Gaz," Zim muttered. Dib glanced at Zim, sharply, as he continued to rub his cheeks. 

"... Yes," Dib replied. "She's my sister. She may try to doom me a lot... but she's still my sister," 

"... You missed her because of me," Zim shivered. 

"I know," Dib grunted. "I found that out after I retraced my steps when I found you. I saw her footsteps... but they disappeared before I could find her. ... She doesn't want me to find her," 

"... Are you worried?" Zim glanced at the human, weakly. 

"... A little," Dib sighed. "... But I know she'll come home. I have faith in her. She won't do anything... ...," 

"Anything...?" Zim blinked. 

"... She'll come home," Dib replied, curtly. "She always does," 

Dib's eyes wandered down to Zim's leg, where a noticeably large puddle of blood began to form. His expression hardened slightly as an emotion that Zim couldn't register flashed across his face. Dib turned, disappearing out of sight in to the kitchen. 

Zim blinked, then pulled the blankets closer to himself and shivered ever so slightly as the last of the cold attempted to hold out against the heat. He sighed and sunk in to the blankets, willing away the pain in his leg, until he was interrupted by Dib's return. He glanced up to see Dib walk in to the room, holding a large, overly fancy, and advanced first-aid kit. 

Zim blinked at the kit, then stared at Dib in confusion and suspicion. Dib sat down in front of Zim and opened the kit. 

"Hold still," he said, oddly calm, as he took hold of Zim's wounded leg and proceeded to try and remove the boot. Zim yelped and cringed as the boot slid off, filled with a disgusting gelatin of half frozen blood, and exposing a rather nasty gash. 

Dib and Zim both flinched at the same time, then quickly attempted to hide the reaction before the other noticed such weakness. Dib reached in to the kit and pulled out a pair of tweezers. Zim noticed the shiny tweezers, which looked very pointy and shiny. 

"... Dissection...?" he thought, tensing. As the thought rippled through him, he immediately forgot the pain and lunged back. "NO!" he shrieked. 

Dib's hand grabbed the upper part of Zim's leg, above the wound, and held it in a death grip. 

"I said hold still!" Dib snapped, obviously trying to control his temper as well as his own thoughts. Dib couldn't help but think about how lithe and delicate Zim was, nor how being so close to Zim gave him goosebumps of the naughty kind. Dib mentally scolded himself for thinking such things about the enemy, but his mind quickly retorted that it was 'okay' since Zim was HIS enemy. Dib wasn't sure if 'okay' was the right word. 

Zim stared at Dib, oddly. 

"So you can perform your sick little human autopsy!? HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS!?" Zim roared. He yelped when Dib dug his nails in to Zim's leg, his cheek twitching slightly. 

"Don't... tempt me, Zim. DON'T TEMPT ME," he hissed. Zim stared at Dib, shaking violently due to the pain and the pure force of Dib's poisonous gaze, and let out a pained whimper. 

Dib glared at Zim, then slowly softened his expression as he eased his grip and sighed. 

"Don't move," he repeated. "You're just hurting yourself," 

Slowly, Dib moved the tweezers closer to Zim's wound and began to remove debris and ice crystals from it. Zim held perfectly still, his breathing ragged and terrified as he tried to ignore the fact that the human was jabbing him with a sharp, pointy tool. 

Dib managed to remove a very large sliver, which caused Zim to snap his head away and he brace himself, trying to appear as if he were in no pain at all. Dib made a disgusted face, his hands shaking slightly, and put the large piece on a paper towel from the kit. After much digging and hisses of pain, Dib soon removed all remains of the destroyed hallpass. 

"That's the last of it...," Dib sighed. Zim glanced at his leg, wearily, and then peered at Dib. Dib ignored Zim's quizzical gaze as he looked at the medicinal creams and disinfecting liquids that the kit had to offer. 

"... I'd clean the wound, but if you can be hurt with just iwater/i...," he muttered. Zim tensed visibly, casting Dib an ugly look. Dib continued to ignore Zim's glares as he took out equipment to clean the Irken's wound. He looked up at Zim, levelly. "Can any of these touch you without doing something bad?" he asked, both curious and exasperated. Zim looked at the equipment, then at Dib. 

"They seem well enough, given their poor human quality," he snarled, agitated. 

"Good," Dib responded, then proceeded to apply some disinfectants to the wound, using a large cottonball. Dib remained totally impartial as the first contact caused a stinging sensation that made Zim jump, but the Irken suspected that Dib was quietly enjoying the control he had over Zim at the moment. However, the Irken could never fully guess just how much Dib was enjoying his sense of power and domination. He might have been a bit weirded out if he had. 

However, as the application of disinfectant continued to make Zim flinch and squirm, Dib eventually found himself unconsciously rubbing Zim's thigh in a comforting gesture. Even if Zim was an alien and his greatest rival, the fact still remained that Zim was at his responsibility. 

Zim turned his head to stare at Dib's hand, blankly, then returned to watching Dib clean his wound. Neither Dib nor Zim noticed when Dib's hand started to slip in a direction it shouldn't go as the human concentrated on cleaned Zim's wound and the alien concentrated on Dib's cleaning. 

Dib's hand continued to move as Zim watched the wound, blinking. When Dib stopped to get a fresh cottonball to dry the wound, his hand reached its unknowing destination and continued its comforting attentions. 

Zim noticed. He glanced down, sharply, as Dib continued to work, oblivious. Zim paused as a bugged out look crossed his face. Dib caught the look on Zim's face out of the corner of his eye. 

"Don't think of the pain, Zim," he muttered. "Concentrate on someplace else," Dib glanced back at the wound and grinned, almost mockingly. "What kind of 'advanced species' can't handle a little pain?" When Zim didn't reply, Dib shrugged and returned to work while his hand continued its efforts to reassure Zim. "I guess the same kind of 'advanced species' that can't handle a little water balloon... or rain... or snow," 

Zim continued to stare, eyes bugged. Dib blinked and eyed Zim, rather puzzled that Zim would let an obvious jibe slide like that but figured it might be due to the pain. He sighed and instinctively switched to massaging Zim's 'hip' instead, trying to relax the alien as he cleaned the wound. 

A bright red color raced across Zim's face as his eyes widened even more. 

"... U-um. ...," Zim blinked repeatedly, his cheeks flushed. Dib scowled, slightly. 

"I told you not to concentrate on the pain, ZIM. Maybe you should start listening to me for once!" he barked as his hand continued to 'rub'. 

"... That's... not what...," Zim began. 

"What is it, then?" Dib muttered, still massaging. "Look. Don't ask why I'm helping. I just... am," 

"... Not that, either...," 

Dib paused. 

"... it's not?" Dib blinked. 

"... Do you know where your hand is?" Zim choked. 

"Yeah, it's treating you. Why?" Dib glanced at Zim, oddly. 

"THERE?!" Zim cried. "What did you think was wrong with me!?" 

"... Isn't it obvious?" Dib stared, incredulous. 

"The other hand! THE OTHER HAND!" Zim sputtered, flailing. 

"Huh?" Dib blinked, then glanced to his other hand. 

Pause. 

"...," 

"...," 

"...," 

"...," 

"...," 

"... ACK!" Dib's eyes bulged as ye yanked his hand away, as if it were burnt. Dib looked away, wiping the wicked, wicked hand off against his pants. 

Finding no way to accurately respond, Zim simply returned to looking at his leg while his cheek twitched. 

"Bizarre human...," 

"I didn't mean to do that! It was an accident!" Dib protested, though a tiny voice begged to differ. Zim glanced at Dib and arched an invisible eyebrow. 

"Why are you turning colors?" he asked, curiously. 

" ... NEVERMIND!" Dib barked. Dib grabbed bandages and quickly set to work binding up Zim's wound, with hopes of dropping the entire subject. When he finished, Dib quickly scrambled away from Zim as his face flushed brilliantly. 

Zim eyed Dib, warily, and decided that he ought to escape as quickly as possible. Then, Zim looked at a window and noted that it was still snowing and shivered. His mind quickly decided that maybe he should wait a little longer before any escape attempts. 

Dib continued to blush as Zim cuddled in to the blankets and shivered against the cold he remembered more than felt. 

Silence filled the room until it seemed almost unbearable. Not one to allow others to think him frightened or cornered, Zim scowled and glanced at Dib. 

"It would seem that I shall survive this... BREAK... that you humans have conceived after all," he sneered. Dib glanced at Zim before looking away quickly. 

"Christmas break isn't a conspiracy against you, ZIM," he muttered. 

"... Chris... Mass?" Zim stared. 

"... It's a... religious holiday... although lots of people celebrate it anyway. It's basically a celebration of peace on Earth and good will towards man...," Dib trailed off. "... Not that you'd understand that," he added, muttering. 

"... and what of this Chris fellow?" Zim asked, curiously. 

" ...Not Chris, *Christ*," 

"... I seeeeee," Zim muttered, though Dib had his suspicions as to whether Zim truly did. "And does this ... religious... holly day... involve transforming the RAIN in to... WHITE... THINGS?" 

Dib looked at Zim, oddly. 

" ... No... When winter comes rain turns to snow because it freezes," 

"... Iiiiinteresting...," Zim muttered. "So... this... WINTER... is a weapon used to ENHANCE the rain to become even more effective weapons of doom!?" 

" ... No of course not!" Dib stared, with a weirded out look. 

"... HAH! Do you deny it!?" Zim cried, pointing at the window. 

"There's been snow on Earth for millions of years, Zim. Humans have nothing to do with it," Dib stated, looking at Zim as if he were an idiot. 

Zim paused, then snorted and looked away. 

"You cannot fool me. That is no HUMAN RAIN!" he hissed. 

"Exactly right. Humans have nothing to do with it, and it's not rain, it's snow," Dib grinned, smugly. Zim looked at Dib, his expression irritated. Dib returned the look, coolly. Zim scowled, glanced at the window, then returned to glaring at Dib. 

"BESIDES! NO IR-... NO INVADER WOULD EVER BE DEFEATED BY-!" Zim began. 

"iYou/i were. You're only alive because I brought you here," Dib interrupted. 

"... ... HAH! THAT WAS SIMPLY MY ADVANCED INVADER TRAINING!" Zim cried, trying to ignore his feeling of humiliation and frustration. 

"Fft, yeah, some 'advanced' training, Zim, going out and getting yourself killed," Dib grinned, sarcastically. 

Zim flinched, visibly, then growled. 

"... ... I... shall have you know that I was... in control of my situation!" 

"Oh really?" 

"... YES! I was cold because I... wanted to be... cold!" Zim faltered. 

"Then why didn't you fight me when I dragged you here?" 

"... ... ... because I... did not feel like fighting! I was too busy pondering things," 

"Like what? 

".. ... like how cold it was," 

"Riight...," Dib gave Zim yet another weirded out look. 

"... It was cold! 

"Yes it was. And it almost killed you," Dib grinned. 

Zim faltered and simply stared at Dib, at a loss. The two stared at each other for a moment until something dawned on Dib. Dib tilted his head and peered, curiously, at Zim. 

"... What was it you were going to say before? INSTEAD of invader?" he asked. 

"... Nothing for stinkbeast ears!" Zim flushed. 

"Hey! I saved your life! You could at least be a LITTLE grateful!" Dib growled. 

"... I am. A little. But what has grateful to do with this?" 

" ... You could at least not insult me," Dib growled. Zim paused, then glanced away feeling a little bit guilty. 

"... ... ... Irken habits die hard," Zim muttered, unthinkingly. The moment the words slipped out of his mouth, Zim realized he had just screwed up very seriously. He clasped his claws over his mouth as his eyes widened drastically. 

Dib's eyes widened. 

"Is that the name of your race? Irkens?!" 

"... NO!" 

"You just said 'Irken habits die hard'! Not invader but IRKEN!" Dib pointed out, almost gleefully. "That's your race, isn't it!" 

"... Slip of the tongue!" Zim protested, feeling ill. "I meant Invader! Bah, I don't even know what that word means!" 

Dib didn't buy it. 

"You started to say it before too! It IS your race's name!" Dib pointed out. He reared back and cackled. "YES! FINALLY! I know your race's name!" he crowed, as his usual smug yet cute victory grin crossed his face. 

"... It is not!" Zim sputtered. "I said IRKIN'... as in human slang for irritating! That's not my RACE'S NAME!" 

"Yes it is! You're just saying that it's not because you don't want to admit you let it slip!" Dib grinned. 

"PROVE IT!" Zim cried. He pointed at Dib, trying to hide the fact that he was suddenly very terrified. "I SLANGED-ED!! 

"Well, why are you freaking out so much over a slip of the tongue if it's not in reality the name of your race!?" 

"... BECAUSE I FREAK OVER EVERYTHING! I AM ZIIIIM! I AM THE MASTER OF FREAK!" 

"... Hmm... that is true. No one else spazzes out as much as you do. It's kinda sad really," 

Zim's cheek twitched violently. 

"By the Tallest...," 

"Who're the Tallest? Are those your leaders or religious deity?" Dib asked, eagerly. 

"... ... if you would have let me finish my statement... I'd have said by the tallest... trees," Zim said, trying to remain calm despite the fact that he had just diverged more vital information about his race. "I AM UNUSED TO YOUR BIZARRE HUMAN SWEARING!" 

"... What do trees have to do with anything?" 

"... I do not know as I am UNUSED to your potty mouth language!" 

"Then why did you say it?" 

"... I am human, therefore I must use potty filth mouth languages!" 

"There's no kind of swearing that has to do with tall trees!" 

"... Yesss there issss," 

Dib fixed Zim with a flat look. 

"... Who do you think you're kidding, Zim?" 

"DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME! I... HAVE YOUR BANDAGES!" 

"... And?" 

Zim paused, then growled as his cheek twitched even more violently. 

"For the love of IRK, I should just shut up now," he whispered very quietly. 

Not quietly enough. 

"Irk? YES! Another piece of alien information! I'll bet that's a name of one of your leaders!" Dib crowed. Zim looked at Dib, levelly, then grinned with extremely false sweetness. 

"I do not know what you mean. I am a perfectly normal wormbaby," 

Dib blinked, then grinned evilly. 

"We'll just see about that. HYAH!" Dib lunged at Zim, who yowled and jumped back. He landed, then yelped as his wounded leg buckled slightly and tumbled to the ground. Dib lunged again, taking advantage of Zim's fall, and pinned him to the floor. Zim yowled and squirmed violently but Dib managed to yank off Zim's wig and went after the contacts. 

Zim hissed and squirmed, doing rather well for being wounded, and turned his head to keep his contacts away from Dib. However, Dib would have none of it and straddled Zim's hips with his legs before diving for the contacts. 

Zim yowled and shoved at Dib, causing the human to fall backwards. Zim attempted to scramble away but Dib flipped over and latched on to the Irken's ankles. 

Without thinking, Zim tried to kick Dib away and ended up jarring his wound. Zim stopped short with a pained gasp, which Dib used once more to pin Zim to the floor. Zim sputtered and growled as he squirmed under the human. 

"GET OFF OF ME!" he commanded. Dib quickly yanked out the contacts, then purred at Zim in sadistic satisfaction. 

"Not so human now, are you, ZIM," 

"... What are you trying to prove, DIB!?" Zim barked, infuriated. Dib stopped, then scowled for a minute before continuing. 

"That you're not a human, no matter what you say," 

"... USELESS! There's no one to prove it to!" Zim snarled, his temper still flaring. 

"... ... Well I could say the same about you about all that 'normal' talk," Dib pointed out. Zim stared, then scowled in response and squirmed, violently. 

"GET OFF!" he bellowed. Dib climbed off of Zim, smugly. The Irken scrambled away, muttering darkly as his face flushed with humiliation and rage. He sat down and glared at Dib out of the corner of his eyes. 

"As if a human could ever understand Irken society," he muttered. He jumped when Dib leaned close, curiousity piqued. 

"Tell me about your race," 

Zim stared, then backed away slowly. 

"Why would you want to know!?" 

"Probably the same reason you want to know about us," Dib responded. Zim glared at Dib. 

"You think I'd simply surrender information for you to use against me?" 

"You've been doing a good job of it so far," Dib grinned. Zim pointed at Dib and opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of it and crossed his arms instead. 

"I don't know what you mean," 

Dib leaned closer. 

"I think you know exactly what I mean," 

Zim paused, then scooted away from Dib. 

"No, I don't," 

Dib scooted closer. 

"I think you do," 

"... ... I think I don't," Zim scooted away again. 

"You do," Dib scooted closer. 

Zim scooted away until he hit the wall. 

"Ooof!" he grunted. He turned to eye Dib. "I don't!" 

Dib scooted very close to Zim. 

"You do!" 

Zim's eyes widened in to a stare as he realized he was stuck. 

"I don't! And why are you getting so close!?" 

"... Because I don't want you to weasel out of this one, Zim. Tell me!" Dib replied. 

"... I have nothing to tell!" Zim protested. 

"Yes you do! Tell me everything about your race!" Dib demanded. Zim paused, then smiled ever so sweetly. 

"Allright. I live on IRTH... and we all go to SKOOL and learn meaningless garbage and... we dress funny," 

" ... Who're you trying to kid!?" 

Zim smiled cutely. 

"You can't perform an autopsy on a human," 

Dib glared, irritated. 

"No, but I can perform one on an IRKEN," 

"You can't touch me, human! -!! ER... if I were IRKEN, which I am not as that name means nothing!" Zim cried. He glanced around, nervously, as it dawned on him how truly dangerous his situation was. 

"Oh reeeeeally?" Dib purred. He leaned over and poked Zim where he'd have a nose if he were human. "You're in MY house and completely at MY mercy. I could turn you in to Mysterious Mysteries if I felt like it at any time," 

Zim's eyes widened as his confidence seemed to fail him. 

"So tell me about your race, Zim," Dib said, calmly, with a big grin on his face. Zim glanced about, then gulped and pressed against the wall. 

"BLACKMAIL!?" he cried. 

"Just call it 'returning a favor'," Dib grinned, wickedly. 

"... You can't fool me... if I tell you anything, you'll just use it against me as evidence!" Zim sputtered. Dib grinned a shark-like grin and leaned so close that Zim could feel his breath against his skin. 

"All the evidence I need is sitting right in front of me," 

Zim paled drastically. 

"Now...," Dib said, sweetly, as he mimicked Zim's previous behavior all the way down to the cute grin. He snipped his fingers in an obvious imitation of scissors, then leaned over and poked Zim in the chest. He slowly slid his scissor fingers down Zim's stomach, causing Zim to shiver as images of a real dissection played in his mind. Dib's fingers halted at Zim's waist as he smiled. "Tell me about your species, Zim," 

Zim gulped and glanced around for any method of escape. However, he realized all too quickly that even if he had managed to get by Dib, the snow was still thick and dangerous outside. He was hopelessly trapped. 

"I can't betray the Tallest!" Zim thought, panicked. "I can't betray my home! My mission's in danger... but... maybe if I told him just a little... just a small amount... I mean, if I'm going to enslave him, he'll find out anyway, right?" 

Zim's reasoning didn't shake the sickening feeling that surged through him. Feeling like he had no other choice, Zim sighed and buried his face in his claws. 

"I'm...," Zim struggled for a few minutes before giving a shiver. "... Irken," 

Dib grinned. 

"...," Zim scowled but refused to look up. "... I come... from the planet...," 

Zim faltered, then looked at Dib. Dib grinned, in a predatory fashion. Zim sighed and whimpered. 

"... Irk," 

Dib leaned in closely, making it easier to hear what Zim was saying. Zim wanted to lean back, away from the human, but was utterly trapped against the wall. 

"... We're led by... the Tallest," Zim muttered. 

"Who're they?" 

"... They are the tallest Irkens...," Zim looked at Dib, hoping that he had satisfied Dib's curiousity. 

"Why are they the ones who lead?" Dib blinked. Zim glanced at Dib, curiously. 

"... Because they're the tallest?" he replied, as if such a thing were obvious. 

"... What does being tall have to do with anything?" 

"Everything," Zim replied, matter-of-factly. Dib looked at Zim, blankly. "... What?" 

"Why does being tall matter at all?" Dib asked, dumbfounded. 

"... It... just does?" Zim replied, confused. 

"But that makes no sense!" Dib protested. 

"... it doesn't?" 

"Don't you judge a... an Irken... by their abilities?" Dib muttered. 

"... Yes! By their magnificent height!" Zim replied. Dib stared at Zim, disbelieving. 

"... You're kidding, right?" 

"About what, human?" Zim asked, starting to get irritated. He had the strangest feeling that Dib was making fun of him. 

"About height being THAT important," Dib replied. 

"... The taller you are, the more important you are! The more rights you have and the better your life is," Zim responded. 

"How can height prove how important you are? It's just height," 

Zim felt as if he had been slapped. Suddenly, he could hear every vicious thing that had ever been said about him and his lack of height. He could hear the Tallest muttering about 'such a tiny little thing' and the other Invaders snickering behind his back, making sure to remind him of his lack of size every time they looked at him. 

Zim couldn't stand it. 

"... JUST HEIGHT!?" he shrieked. Dib stared, flinching back at the sheer force in Zim's voice. "JUST HEIGHT!? IT IS NOT iJUST/i HEIGHT! HEIGHT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC OF OUR SOCIAL STRUCTURE! IT IS VASTLY IMPORTANT, BRINGING TONS OF RESPECT AND DIGNITY AND ENVY! IT IS AN ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT IDEAL TO I, WHO IS BY FAR THE SHORTEST... IRKEN... ... ever...," Zim blinked, slowly, then looked away as his expression grew solemn. He looked at his claws, which tapped against his knees, and mentally willed himself far, far away. 

"... ...What happens to short Irkens...?" Dib whispered. Zim refused to look up. 

"... They're made fun of, insulted, ignored, given menial jobs or assignments, and swept away to make room for the taller Irkens," he muttered. 

"...," 

"... If you're short, you're better off not existing at all," Zim grunted. 

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as the two sat, one unwilling to say anything and the other unsure if he should say anything at all. 

Suddenly, the door burst open and an icy wind filled the room. Snow flew everywhere, falling just short of Zim and Dib. Zim lunged behind the couch, trying to hide, as Dib stared in shock. He blinked slowly as the door slammed shut, leaving mounds of snow on the floor. He rubbed his eyes, then stared again. 

"... GAZ?" 


	4. Death By Mistletoe

Warning: WHOOHOOO! Final part! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE/CHRISTMAS (depending on when you read this)! Yesssss, let the reader beware. I've thrown in some candy canes and spice to this chapter... but I'm hoping that Yuki and I satisfy everyone with this chapter. Eitherway... I hope you enjoy it! We enjoyed RPing it! Maybe we should translate more of our RPS in to fanfics? This one seemed pretty well received! 

Part Four: Death By Mistletoe 

Dib stared as Gaz walked in to the room, looking cold and particularly crabby. She ignored Dib and shook off gobs of snow, then tossed her coat and boots on the heater. Dib stared in disbelief as Zim peeked out from behind the couch, both watching while Gaz acted as if the two boys didn't exist and sat down on the couch. She grabbed her Game Slave from its position on the table and started playing it. 

Seconds ticked by until, suddenly, the "game over" music blared. However, instead of vowing ultimate revenge on the enemies or whoever it was that distracted her, she simply replayed without a word. The "game over" music played once more, but Gaz continued to quietly replay. 

"... Gaz...?" Dib inquired as he walked over to his sister, feeling rather concerned. Zim continued to peek out, unsure of what to do. Gaz ignored Dib as she pushed random buttons on her Game Slave, not really caring about anything. The snow made her numb in more ways than one. 

Zim glanced at the two humans, then sighed miserably. He massaged his leg, pleased to note that it wasn't quite so painful anymore and that the bandages were helping. He smiled, slightly, then grunted. 

"I hope GIR is allright by himself...," 

He truly did care about GIR, though he refused to admit it openly. Invaders weren't supposed to care about their servants. But that didn't stop Zim from secretly caring and worrying about GIR. GIR was something Zim couldn't afford to not worry about. 

Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR wandered down the street, making snow angels. 

Dib sighed and sat down next to Gaz, unsure of what else he could do. Zim curled up and leaned against the couch, thankful that Dib was no longer interested in Irken society. Gaz ignored everyone, viciously pounding away at her gaming system. 

Silence continued until Zim rested his chin against his knees and sighed. 

"... poor GIR," he grunted. 

BAM... BAM... BAM... Moo? 

"What the-!?" Dib jumped. He turned to stare at the door, oddly. Zim paused, then turned to stare at the door as well. 

"... it can't be," 

Dib walked toward the door, warily. 

"... Who could be out in a blizzard like this..?" he muttered as he opened the door. 

GIR grinned up at Dib, wagging his tail, as he stood in his green dog outfit while holding a tray of Christmas brownies. Thrown over the green dog outfit was a red kinky elf girl outfit with the chest bursting out due to two frozen water balloons. 

"HI!" GIR cried, shoving a brownie in Dib's mouth before striding in to the house. Dib boggled at the sight of the SIR unit, then glanced at Zim with an accusing glare. Zim ignored Dib, far too stunned at the sight of GIR to bother with the human. 

"... GIR?" he stared. GIR noticed Zim, then giggled and walked towards him while extending the tray of brownies. 

"I made them for you and you weren't home and they were getting cold and so I thought I should find you and HERE HAVE A BROWNIE!" GIR shrieked, shoving a brownie in Zim's gaping mouth. GIR then turned about, not giving Zim a chance to respond, and looked at the television. "WHEEE! It's time for 'How The Scary Monkey Ate Christmas'!" he squealed. With a delighted cry, GIR sat down in front of the television and flipped to the appropriate channel. 

Dib and Zim stared at GIR, blinking once and then twice but still unable to comprehend what just happened. Sighing, the two boys proceeded to chew on their brownies and accepted the fact that GIR wasn't something anyone could comprehend. 

Gaz still hadn't acknowledged the existence of anyone, or get past the first level of her game. 

GIR watched the television, then burst out crying when the Scary Monkey got indigestion from a Christmas tree. 

"NOOOO!" GIR sobbed. Zim eyed the SIR oddly. Dib blinked at GIR, then looked at Zim. 

"I've always wondered. Is that robot of yours defective or does he just have some wires crossed?" Dib asked. 

"... He's ADVANCED!" Zim retorted, defensively. GIR glanced at Zim, then burst out cackling and proceeded to beat his head against the floor. 

"WHEEE HEEE HEEE!" 

"... THAT'S advanced!?" Dib stared, incredulous. 

"... I don't question my Tallest," Zim grunted. "I was honored to even be acknowledged, let alone get GIR!" 

"...," 

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" GIR squealed, happily, as he lunged at Zim and hugged him tightly. 

"ACK! LET GO!" Zim roared, squirming violently. He winced as the movement caused pain to lace up his leg. "LET GO OF ME RIGHT NOW!" 

"Noooo! I still have hundreds of hugs left in me!" GIR replied. 

"... NO!" 

"HUG HUG HUG!" 

"LET GO!" 

"HUG HUG HUG HUUUUUUG!" 

Dib simply stared at Zim and GIR, divided between laughter and shock. Gaz paused her game to look at the alien and his SIR, her expression unreadable. Zim attempted to rip GIR off of him, shrieking curses and threats while the tiny robot kept its grip around its master. 

"I STILL HAVE LOTS LEFT IN ME!" GIR cried. Zim blinked and paused, then smirked evilly. 

"The DIB human needs a hug! He's jealous!" Zim gasped. GIR blinked, then yelped in horror. 

"GASP!" GIR 'gasped', then released Zim and lunged at Dib. "I'M GONNA HUG YOOOU!" 

Dib yelped, then turned on his heel and bolted. However, he wasn't quick enough as GIR latched on to his waist and snuggled. 

"YES! YESSS! HUG HIM!" Zim cackled. "GIVE HIM THE HUG OF... DOOOOOM!" 

Gaz glanced at Zim from over her game. GIR paused and looked at Zim, then at the protesting Dib. 

"... I'm going to sing the HUGGY DOOM SONG now!" GIR announced. "Doom doom doom HUG doom doom HUG HUG HUG doom doom hug doomie doomie doomie doom HUG!" 

Dib hissed as he tried to pry GIR off, then glared murderously at the Irken. 

"Why don't you give ZIM your hugs!? He seemed to like them before!" he growled. 

"OH! But I have SO MANY HUGS TO GIVE! And you haven't gotten any at all!" GIR sighed, before tightening his grip. Zim continued his high pitched laughter, thoroughly enjoying Dib's unfortunate situation. 

"AAAACK!" Dib flailed and struggled, casting Zim death glares as the Irken laughed at the human's expense. GIR purred and nuzzled Dib's stomach, completely unwilling to relent. 

Gaz continued to watch Zim, her eyes never moving. The piercing gaze sent shivers up Zim's spine, causing him to glance at Gaz and blink. The two stared at each other while GIR continued his hugs of doom. 

"... You look better without your disguise," Gaz muttered, then returned to her Game Slave. Zim stared at Gaz as a distinct blush crept on to his green cheeks. However, Zim's attention was soon diverted away from Gaz and her words. 

"I KNOW! I'LL HUG YOU BOTH... TOGETHER!" GIR announced. 

"... Well... atleast I won't suffer alone," Dib thought as he continued to flail. Zim tensed, then stared at GIR in horror. When it dawned on him that the tiny robot was perfectly serious, he attempted to run. 

He didn't get far before he found himself crushed against Dib in a tight robotic death grip. 

"... So nice of you to join us," Dib drawled. 

"... bah!" 

The corner of Gaz's mouth twitched slightly as she suppressed the urge to laugh. GIR nuzzled his head against Zim and Dib, hugging them tightly and giggling with the utmost joy. 

" ... UGH! My squeedily spooch!" 

"AAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAOOOOOO! MY SPLEEN!" 

GIR continued to nuzzle, oblivious to the extreme pain that his merciless hugging was causing. 

"... Wonderful... getting crushed against a human during CHRIS-MAS BREAK," Zim groaned. 

"This isn't exactly my idea of fun either, ZIM," Dib snarled. 

"AWWW!!" GIR cried. "They're BONDING!" 

"... WHAT?!" Zim stared. 

"WE ARE NOT!" Dib protested. 

"Yesss you are!" GIR assured them. 

"LIES!" Zim roared. 

"Wow. You two aren't trying to kill each other. Christmas is the season for miracles, after all," 

Dib and Zim turned to stare at Gaz in disbelief, who smirked at them. 

"See?" GIR crowed, triumphantly. 

"... WE'RE NOT BONDING!" Dib repeated. 

"BOND BOND BOND!" GIR cackled. He paused, then squealed. "HUG!" he added, emphasizing his words as he hugged the two boys very tightly. Zim yelped as his entire body was crushed against Dib. 

It was then that Dib noticed just how nice and warm Zim felt. 

Dib paused for a few seconds, then flailed with a renewed vigor. Zim squirmed as well, unaware of the sensations his actions were causing. Dib blushed very darkly and made a high pitched noise before he flailed with such energy that he was starting to create a slight breeze. GIR blinked, then cackled and began to dance about as he held on. 

"DIB'S MAKING MUSIC!" he cried. "I can sing too! LALALALALALALA!" 

Zim growled and attempted to slip free but only managed in turning himself about and ended up face to face with Dib. Zim and Dib stared at each other, blankly, as both seemed to be at a loss. 

"...," 

"...," 

It was then that GIR received his most brilliant idea ever. 

"... MISTLETOE!" GIR squealed. As if on cue, a clump of mistletoe popped out of his head and dangled over Zim and Dib. 

Dib stared at Zim, who looked utterly confused. 

"... Don't you two make a lovely couple," Gaz chuckled, watching the three from her position on the couch. 

"... Couple of what?" Zim asked, weakly. GIR cackled and dropped Zim and Dib, then dangled the mistletoe over their heads. 

"YOU HAVE TO KISSSSSSSSSS!!" 

Dib stared at Zim, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi. 

"... huh?" Zim blinked, uncomprehending. 

"IT'S MISTLETOE! MUST KISS!" GIR repeated. 

"... A Christmas tradition. Any two people caught under the mistletoe has to kiss," Gaz explained as she put her game slave away, giving the two boys her full attention. 

"... to kiss what?" Zim blinked. 

"EACH OTHER!" GIR shrieked in Zim's ear. Zim's eyes widened as he paled. "MUST KISS!" GIR continued. Dib stared, blankly, at Zim while the Irken seemed to be at a total loss. Neither made a move, simply staring at each other. GIR blinked, then tilted his head. "I'll explode if you don't kiss," he said, cutely. 

"Explode...?" Dib blinked, slowly. 

"... He does that sometimes," Zim replied, dazed. Dib stared at Zim, sweating and blushing profusely. Zim blinked, innocently. It was the first time the invader truly looked innocent in front of Dib, which seemed to have a profound effect on the human. He blushed even brighter, his hands curling up in to fists. 

"I feel all explooodeeeeyyy!" GIR sang, swinging the mistletoe back and forth over their heads. "Better HUUUURRRYYYY!" 

Dib continued to stare at Zim until suddenly he found himself slowly leaning towards Zim. Zim blinked and tensed, unsure of what Dib was after. Dib continued to move closer as his hand reached up to touch Zim's cheek. Zim's eyes darted to look at Dib's hand, warily. 

Zim was caught totally unaware when Dib, blushing brilliantly, pulled Zim close and captured Zim's lips with a sweet, tender kiss. Zim's eyes widened drastically as his cheeks turned the same color of his eyes. He remained perfectly motionless as Dib's lips grew bolder and more confident. 

"Awwwwwwww!" GIR whimpered, adorably. A crooked smile crossed Gaz's face as Dib deepened the kiss, his hands moving from Zim's face to the Irken's waist. Zim shivered slightly as his eyes closed, his arms gently wrapping around Dib's neck. 

GIR calmly walked over to Gaz and sat down on the couch, munching on his brownies. 

"Awww," GIR repeated. "I love this show," 

"... Should we leave you two alone?" Gaz asked, her smirk widening, as she took out her game slave once more and proceeded to play it. 

"... Mmmr?" was Zim's only response. 

Dib, however, blushed brightly and abruptly broke the kiss. A look of disappointment crossed Zim's ruby eyes but he quickly hid it. 

"COMMERCIAL BREAK!" GIR cried, clapping. Dib looked down, even more embarrassed than before. Zim glanced from GIR to Dib, looking rather confused. "I bet Master tastes like cupcakes," GIR said, suddenly. Zim's confusion increased as he stared at GIR. 

"... Why not have a taste and see for yourself?" Gaz asked, grinning wickedly. 

"... OKAY!" 

Zim yowled and scrambled away as GIR took a flying leap off of the couch. GIR landed, roughly, on Zim's chest and leaned close for a brief kiss on the lips. GIR blinked at Zim, who sputtered violently, and cackled. 

"YEP!" 

Gaz snickered as Dib frowned, starting to feel rather jealous. GIR sat on Zim's stomach, giggling, as the Irken seemed highly irritated with him. 

"Sugar and spice and everything nice!" GIR sang. Zim glared. 

"... Frogs... and snails...," he hissed. "... and... PUPPY DOG TAILS!" he shrieked, lunging for GIR's tail. GIR yelped and ran, scrambling on the couch to avoid Zim's grip. Zim scrambled after and lunged, only to have GIR leap out of the way at the last second. He landed, roughly, on Gaz's lap. 

"ACK!" Zim blinked, then waved his fist at GIR. "I WILL... DESTROY YOOOOU!" 

Gaz blinked, then calmly set down her Game Slave on the couch. Zim realized where he was and made to scramble back with a yelp. 

However, Gaz would have none of it. 

Gaz quickly wrapped her arms around Zim's waist, preventing his escape, and grinned evilly. 

"Since you're here...," she drawled. "I might as well get a taste myself," 

Zim stared and blushed, uncertain of what to do. Gaz leaned forward and kissed Zim with an intensity that blew the Irken's mind. Zim's eyes widened as he went limp, unsure of what to do as the human ravaged his mouth. Dib fumed as jealousy raged through him like an inferno. With deliberate, angry steps, Dib stormed over to the couch and grabbed Zim. He yanked the alien away from Gaz, growling. 

"He's MY alien!" Dib hissed. Zim yelped in surprise and glanced at Dib, startled. Gaz glared at Dib, her arms grabbing Zim's waist firmly. 

"And just how did you come to that conclusion?" Gaz hissed, yanking Zim back. "You think you own all the aliens. Well, you know what? You don't. You just don't," 

"This isn't like the cereal, Gaz!" Dib growled. 

Zim squeaked as he found himself being yanked back and forth by Dib and Gaz. GIR cackled as he watched his master become the target of a horrible tug-o-war match between the two Membrane children. 

"Let go!" 

"Don't make me doom you," 

Zim whimpered as his head snapped about with every violent yank of the irritated Membrane offspring. After a few minutes, when Zim began to feel rather ill, the two Membranes stopped their tugging and stared at each other thoughtfully. 

Silence filled the room as Zim fought down his urge to throw up when Dib finally tilted his head and blinked. 

"... Gaz, we shouldn't be acting like this around Christmas," Dib muttered, thoughtfully. 

"... I guess you're right," Gaz replied. 

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Dib cried, then grinned wickedly. Zim gulped, unsure of what to think. "How about we share him?" 

Zim looked rather startled as Gaz pondered Dib's proposal. 

"... Share...?" Zim muttered. 

"Hmm," Gaz grunted. She grinned at Dib. "Sounds good to me," 

Zim yelped as Gaz pulled him close, nuzzling against his back. Dib grinned, sinisterly, as he snuggled against Zim from the front, effectively sandwiching the alien between the two Membranes. Zim glanced between Gaz and Dib, blushing furiously as he blinked. 

Dib rubbed his hands along Zim's hips, carefully avoiding the wound on Zim's leg, as he nipped at Zim's neck. Zim gasped and arched his back, then yelped when Gaz snuggled against his back and ran a tongue along one of Zim's antennas. 

The contact against the antenna created an interesting sensation inside of Zim; a sensation that was far from unpleasant. Zim found himself purring, lightly, as his claws dug in to the couch. 

Dib continued to nip Zim's throat, chuckling evilly to himself. Gaz continued to taste the antenna, her hands rubbing Zim's back sensually. 

Zim's purring increased as a tiny spark seemed to flash up the length of his antenni. Gaz blinked, startled at the sensation, but smirked slyly and continued her attentions. 

GIR watched, quietly, as he munched on his brownies. 

Zim let out a tiny gasp and whimper as Dib and Gaz teased his body, enjoying every noise and whine that escaped their helpless victim. Zim mewled, adorably, as Dib and Gaz moved in for the kill, their hands slipping downward simultaneously. 

Suddenly, the door swung open violently and hit the wall. Snow surged in to the room, carried by powerful winds. Dib started and stared at the door, hands grabbing Zim's hips. Gaz glanced at the door, though she seemed more curious than startled. 

"Hahahaha! As if snow could defeat PROFESSOR MEMBRANE!" 

Zim, Dib, and Gaz stared in shock as Professor Membrane strode in to the house, totally wrapped in soaked clothes and covered with snow. His skin looked rather blue and icicles clung to his hair, but he didn't seem to mind. He wielded a rather odd flamethrower made out of laptop parts, forks, and a car engine. He posed, triumphantly, as the door shut of its own accord. 

"I HAVE ARRIVED FOR CHRISTMAS CHEER!" he announced. Zim squealed and slipped out from between the two Membranes, lunging behind the couch at amazing speeds. 

Professor Membrane walked past the couch, grabbing a brownie off of the tray that GIR was holding. 

"Thank you, funny kinky outfit wearing green dog I wasn't aware we owned!" he laughed, merrily. 

"D-d-dad! You're home!" Dib sputtered, embarrassed as well as surprised. Even Gaz looked highly surprised, her eyes open wide. 

"Of course!" Professor Membrane smiled, before munching on the brownie. "I promised, did I not?" 

"But the message you left...," Dib began, weakly. 

"Hoh?" Professor Membrane glanced at the answering machine. " I said I'd be delayed. Nasty snow, you know... but even snow can't keep PROFESSOR MEMBRANE down for long!" 

"Uh... but... It must have cut off through the message...," Dib muttered, bewildered. 

"... Hm! I see!" Professor Membrane paused to grab another brownie and eat it, as well. "... BUT! I'm here NOW!" 

Zim fumbled to find his wig and contacts, trying desperately to avoid being seen. 

"Yeah... I'm glad you're home, dad...," Dib smiled nervously, hopeful that their father hadn't noticed what they had been doing when he stormed in. Gaz noticed Zim's plight and grabbed both the contacts and the wig, then handed them to Zim discreetly. Zim accepted his disguise, thankfully, and quickly put them back on. 

"BY THE WAY!" Professor Membrane cried, suddenly. He walked over and peered behind the couch, curiously. "Why is the funny foreign green kid hiding behind our couch?" 

Zim stared in shock and horror at the professor, who simply looked at him with mild curiousity. 

"W-we... uh...," Dib faltered, blushing. 

"We invited him and his dog over for Christmas," Gaz interjected, calmly. 

"OH!" Professor Membrane blinked. "I see! What a well-behaved dog. Good cook, too," he grinned, grabbing another brownie. Zim slowly climbed on to the couch and sat down, flustered, between Gaz and Dib. Gaz looked cool and calm as usual, but also seemed to be at peace. She almost smiled at her father. Dib looked incredibly embarrassed, face a brilliant red. Professor Membrane was totally oblivious as he slipped off his dripping coat and hung it on the wall. 

"I would have been here sooner but you would not IMAGINE the fight that Simmons put up when I took apart his car!" he chuckled. 

"... It's okay, dad," Dib smiled. 

"Of course! Now then. I shall go make... CHRISTMAS COOKIES. Go back to whatever you were doing!" Professor Membrane cackled, before disappearing in to the kitchen. 

As such was a rather embarrassing impossibility, the three simply sat on the couch and stared blankly at the television. GIR looked up, then shrieked with laughter as the Scary Monkey proceeded to beat up Santa. 

Outside of GIR's insanity and the screeching of the Scary Monkey, a moment of uneasy silence filled the room as the three sat on the couch, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, Zim glanced at Dib nervously and arched an invisible eyebrow. 

"So... is this what CHRIS-MAS BREAK usually entails?" he asked, uneasily. Dib blinked and looked at Zim, oddly. 

"It's CHRISTMAS BREAK. And what do you mean?" he asked. Zim fixed Dib with a look that all but screamed that Dib knew exactly what he meant. Dib stared, then blushed brightly. "... Oh," 

"Heh heh," Gaz smirked. 

"Well?" Zim demanded. "Is it?" 

"Um...," Dib faltered. Zim glared at him, accusingly, then squeaked when Gaz ran a finger up his spine. 

"Yes," she replied. "And you're staying over tonight," 

Zim stared at her, alarmed and shocked. Gaz simply grinned, wolfishly, as she leaned close to Zim. 

"You can't go out in the snow," she replied. "And besides, we never really... FINISHED," 

"...," Zim stared. Dib blinked and glanced at his sister, then grew a similar grin on his face and winked at Zim. 

"Sounds fun," he agreed. Zim let out a tiny squeak as GIR cackled happily and ran around the table. Dib continued to grin at Zim as he leaned closer, causing the tiny alien to shiver slightly. 

"I...," Zim began but was immediately cut off by Dib, who put a finger to the Irken's lips. Dib shook his head, then smirked. 

"... Merry Christmas, Zim," 


End file.
